It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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