so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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