so that wasnt chicken after all
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
