When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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