Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am mentally ready for anal.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
