I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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