Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
