oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
