I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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