In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
