so that wasnt chicken after all
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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