Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
