What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
