Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize