so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
