mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize