I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
