At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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