Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize