If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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