guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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