I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
