Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Private_Eyes4you hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

Fav 51 5140 823
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

Fav 9 5602 1301
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(862): View more from New Jersey

She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

Fav 22 4848 1010
share tweet
(478): View more from Georgia

she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet

Fav 14 4103 1182
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

Fav 29 4868 943
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

you lied. pity sex is amazing.

Fav 27 7197 1144
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

Fav 11 904 5883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.

Fav 1 178 114
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.

Fav 0 20 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT