i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
