Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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