When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
