I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
