I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
