I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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