I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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