I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize