I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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