nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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