we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
