She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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