but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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