it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
