Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
