no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
