you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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