She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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