ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
