if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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