What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
4 words: hood of his car
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
