dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
