dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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