I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
