We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
