he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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