dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
