The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my poor anus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
