just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
