Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
