you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
