remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize