their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
