one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
