drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
