I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
