now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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