I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
