I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
