Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
