Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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