i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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