Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
