New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
