just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
