He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
