even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wear drunk well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
