i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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