I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
