Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
