Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
