Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
