Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
either way he was missing a nipple.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
